I spent this year's Christmas with my family on Maryland's Eastern Shore. My sister and her boyfriend flew in from California, and my aunt and uncle came, too. It was so nice to see everyone, and of course we all celebrated by sharing gifts!
Here's what I got (there was more, like candy and such, but these were the top gifts):
1. UNICORNS! Unicorns have been my thing for a long time (I never grew out of my pony phase), and I love collecting them. My sister painted the geometric unicorn for me. How amazing is that?! This was my favorite gift this year. My sister also made me a purple ceramic bowl with a unicorn head on it (the mane and tail are painted on as rainbows!). My aunt made me the "Fierce" unicorn T-shirt (using a bleach pen), and I also got a unicorn night light and key chain. My family is so creative!
2. One of my new year's resolutions is to take better care of my skin, so my mom bought me one of those Clarisonic brushes (the Mia 2, specifically), and the pumpkin enzyme face mask from Naturopathica (it smells SO good!). I also got floss: not really good for my face, but for my smile? I always get floss in my stocking, which I love because it's one of those little things I just don't feel like spending money on.
3. I go snowboarding every year with my dad in February, so I got some warm leggings and a fleece mask thing to keep me warm on the slopes!
4. This was a specific item on my wish-list. This leather jacket from Express is so cool! I had one of their other jackets for five years, and it was finally getting worn, so now I have a new one!
5. I got more gift cards this year than ever before! Looks like I'll be making purchases from DSW, Sephora, and the Cheesecake Factory in 2017!
6. Little shots of alcohol. Need I say more?
7. Socks. Everyone gets socks for Christmas, right? I know some people think that's the worst gift, but I like fun socks! Plus, when you buy Bombas, another pair is donated to those in need, which is so fitting with the holiday spirit.
How did you make out this year with your gifts? Share your favorite present in the comments!
One of Synetic Theater's claim to fame is that they perform a lot of silent plays. This version of Sleeping Beauty had no dialogue, but instead uses exaggerated movements from the actors to reveal what's going on.
The set for this play was incredible! There were multiple curtains hanging from the ceiling, and images were projected onto them (which is a complete other component to the play that most performances don't need to have!). The curtains performed many functions: they represented trees and waterfalls in the woods; they were the sky full of lightening from the witch's wrath; they are obstacles keeping the prince from saving the princess (like in the picture above). It was amazing to watch the set transform. The set was a character itself!
The play also had a curtain in the back used to make shadows, which I thought was clever.
Image found here.
The actors did a great job. Irina Tsikurishvili, the founding choreographer of the theater and the wife of the founding artistic director, played the witch. She is very dynamic and full of energy, and she was definitely scary when she was mad!
I also thought the fairies were a lot of fun. Francesca Blume, Kathy Gordon, and Emily Whitworth (I think that's the order in picture above, left to right) were the fairies, and they were quite fun. They brought slapstick comedy to the show, bumping into one another and generally being silly. I believe Gordon played the orange fairy, who was the most emotive. Their costumes were fun and eclectic, and I liked that the play brought in fun moments from the Disney version, like when the fairies are putting together a birthday party for Briar Rose (the name of the princess) and keep changing things different colors (see below; GIF found here).
I have seen Zana Gankhuyag (the prince) in several of Synetic's productions. He's very good, but it was distracting to watch him as a blonde (as if we couldn't believe he was the witch's son without them having the same hair color...). I think when I saw him in this play his hair was dyed, but in one show he must have worn a wig (like in the photo above). Costumes can make or break a character, and with the light hair, I just wasn't buying it.
And I have to say that Eliza Smith looks so young as the princess Briar Rose. I actually thought it was a child playing the role! Her petite frame and sweet face give her the appearance of an eleven year-old girl. I couldn't get past it! So I never bought the romantic part of the story in this show.
Like most of Synetic's plays, I enjoyed the show, but I was not overwhelmed. And I usually fall asleep for at least a little bit. This was only a 90 minute play (with no intermission), but it easily could have been made shorter. Some scenes were dragged out, especially near the end when the prince is trying to save Briar Rose; we all know he's going to save her, so we don't need to watch ten minutes (or more!) of him struggling to get to her. So, not Synetic's best, but not a waste of time if you do decide to go.
Read another article about this play from the Washington Post.
This play did not disappoint. It was everything you would have wanted. The play takes place in the drawing room at Pemberley, and Elizabeth is very excited about having a Christmas tree in her new home, even though it's a German holiday tradition. The rest of the family is visiting, from the lovely eldest sister Jane and her happy-go-lucky husband Bingley, to the younger, exasperating sister Lydia, to the studious middle sister Mary, the protagonist of the play. Mary is glad to be with her sisters, but has been feeling lonely recently; she feels trapped in her role as the unwed daughter who is destined to remain unmarried and take care of her elderly parents. But Darcy's cousin, Arthur de Bourgh, comes to visit for the holiday, and he and Mary instantly hit it off, talking about maps and books and their mutual wish to explore the world. A wrench is put into their budding friendship when Lydia tries to flirt with Arthur, and THEN Anne de Bourgh (another of Darcy's cousins) shows up claiming that she's already engaged to Arthur! Conflict ensues, misunderstandings multiply, but in the end, all is right, and you get the happy, romantic ending that you always expect from one of Austen's stories.
This play was so well done! The set was beautiful, as were the costumes. But my favorite part was that the play assumes you know the story of Pride and Prejudice. There's no background, no time wasted explaining who's who and what's going on. They throw you right in, expecting you to understand why no one seems too sad about Catherine de Bourgh's death or knowing why Mary insists that her mother talks all the time (though Mrs. Bennett is not in the play at all). I loved how the actors completely embodied their characters, just slipping in right where the book or film left off. Brandon McCoy's Bingley is jovial and content as always; Miranda Rizzolo as Lydia is just as annoying as you remember; Erin Weaver and Katie deBuys as Elizabeth and Jane are as lovely as ever. But we also get to know Mary (played by Katie Kleiger) much better. Yes, she is always reading or playing the piano, but she is also passionate and curious about the world, and has deeper feelings regarding relationships (and lack there of) than any of us ever knew.
8 oz. Thai rice noodles (I found some by Annie Chun at Safeway)
1 tbsp. canola oil
1 shallot, chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 tbsp. grated fresh ginger
2 c. chicken stock
1 (13.5-oz.) can coconut milk
3 c. cubed fresh pumpkin or butternut squash
1 tbsp. Thai roasted red chili paste
1 tsp. dark brown sugar
1 lb. large shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 c. snow peas
2 tbsp. fresh lime juice
1 tbsp. fish sauce
Fresh basil, for serving
Directions
Cook noodles according to package directions.
Meanwhile,
heat oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add shallot and
garlic and cook, stirring, until fragrant, 1 minute. Add ginger and
cook, stirring, until fragrant, 1 minute. Add stock, coconut milk,
pumpkin, chili paste, and brown sugar. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and
simmer, stirring occasionally, until pumpkin is just tender, 10 to 12
minutes. Stir in shrimp and cook until opaque throughout, 1 to 2
minutes. Stir in snow peas and cook until bright green, 1 minute. Stir
in lime juice and fish sauce.
Divide noodles between four serving bowls. Top with soup and basil.
And of course I changed it to make my own version. I didn't bother with the chili paste, lime juice, or fish sauce, since I don't use those ingredients often enough to warrant buying them. I also didn't add the shallot or the sugar since they aren't really necessary. I used coconut oil instead of canola oil, since the recipe calls for coconut milk anyway, and powdered ginger instead of fresh; I used mixed frozen veggies instead of snow peas, and I added curry powder and cubes of red bell pepper for some more flavor.
I recommend using butternut squash instead of pumpkin, since they are usually smaller and easier to work with (not as many seeds to deal with in the middle!). I also bought pre-cooked, pre-peeled frozen shrimp, so all I had to do was defrost them and then add them to the soup at the end. And I topped the bowl off with some shredded coconut as a finishing touch!
My mom and I didn't have any butter when we wanted to bake cookies over the weekend, but she did have coconut oil, so we looked for a recipe that specifically called for that. We found this recipe on The Whole Dish.
Ingredients (double the recipe to make more cookies!)
1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
¼ tsp. salt
⅓ cup granulated sugar
¼ cup brown sugar, packed
1 large egg
½ cup melted coconut oil
2 tsp. vanilla extract
½ cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
½ cup dried cranberries
½ cup sweetened shredded coconut, loosely packed
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Add the oats, flour, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt to a large bowl. Stir to combine.
In
a medium bowl, add the granulated sugar, brown sugar, and egg. Whisk
until smooth. Add the melted (but not hot) coconut oil and vanilla.
Whisk until well combined (about 1 minute).
Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients. Stir until all dry ingredients are moistened.
Add
the chocolate chips, dried cranberries, and shredded coconut. Stir
until they are well incorporated in the cookie batter. This is a thick
batter so this will take some effort.
Drop
large rounded tablespoons of cookie dough onto a baking sheet. Leave
about 2 inches around each cookie. Use your fingers to press the cookies
together if they are crumbly. Bake for 8-9 minutes. Do not over bake.
Cookies will look soft but will continue to crisp as they cool.
Let the cookies cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes. Then, transfer the cookies to a cooling rack to continue cooling.
As usual, I did make some changes to the recipe. We had already run out of chocolate chips and brown sugar, so we skipped the chocolate chips and used regular sugar instead. But we did have little bits of Heath Bar toffee, so we put in a cup of those instead. And since we had already made coconut cookies earlier, we skipped that for this recipe, too. This recipe says to add the wet ingredients to the dry ones, but we did the opposite and the cookies turned out fine. We rolled the dough in our hands to make little balls, and then pressed them onto the cookie sheets. I also recommend using parchment paper on the cookie sheets for easy clean-up. We did double the recipe, so we almost got 50 cookies out of this recipe!
I put "pumpkin" in brackets because the original recipe does not call for pumpkin. But I didn't have any butter on hand, and pumpkin puree can be used as a butter substitute (as can olive oil, applesauce, etc.).
Ingredients (double the recipe if you want to make more cookies!)
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter (or a little more than 1/3 cup pumpkin puree)
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/3 cups flaked coconut
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt; set aside.
In
a medium bowl, cream the butter, brown sugar, and white sugar until
smooth. Beat in the egg and vanilla until light and fluffy. Gradually
blend in the flour mixture, then mix in the coconut. Drop dough by
teaspoonfuls onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Cookies should be about 3
inches apart.
Bake for 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until lightly toasted. Cool on wire racks.
I did double this recipe, so there were almost fifty cookies! If you do use pumpkin, the batter will not get "light and fluffy," but that's okay. And I would recommend using parchment paper on the cookie sheets; you can remove the cookies immediately from the cookie sheets onto the rack, but the dough does stick a little bit. And 10 minutes was good in my oven, since the cookies were still pretty wet at 8 minutes.
Since 2011, I have seen "The Nutcracker" ballet around the time of the holidays. This year I saw the Cincinnati Ballet perform this famous piece at the Kennedy Center the day before Thanksgiving. What a way to start the holiday!
I love seeing how each company puts its own twist on this ballet. Most start the show just outside of the house or already at the party, but this one starts inside the kitchen with the help preparing all the food and drinks, which I thought was a really nice touch! The maids were on pointe trying not to spill the champagne, and the chef was running around with a huge cake just about to topple over. Even a maid and butler were getting a little frisky before all the guests arrived!
The party scene was the usual, with Herr Drosselmeyer coming in and making a scene (although he did several magic tricks in this performance, which was very clever!). The boys were given many different toys, rather than just trumpets (although all the girls got dolls as usual); Herr Drosselmeyer non-nonchalantly gave Clara the nutcracker (I was expecting some sort of flourish!). But speaking of flourishes, the Christmas tree was huge! It always gets bigger in this ballet, but this time it kept growing and growing...I thought it would never stop! And of course I liked the fun dancing at the party, especially when the grandparents who could barely walk suddenly went to bust a move!
The dancing doll did not dance as robotically as I had hoped. Image found here.
The dancing bear was not effective either. Rather than looking like a dancing bear, it looked like a man dancing in a bear suit. Image found here.
Once the party was over, the mice came out to play! The baby mice were cute, but their tails were so long that I kept
waiting for them to be stepped on! The mice danced like tough guys, almost like moves from Single Ladies (except not nearly as fabulously). The mouse king was comically effeminate: rather than fighting with a sword, he swatted the nutcracker away with a kerchief. At one point Herr Drosselmeyer came flying in like Peter Pan to get in the fight! And of course there were soldiers to back up the nutcracker, although their costumes made their thighs look huge for whatever reason.
Why were the mice wearing yellow sashes? Image found here.
Image from here. Those thighs made me think of Squidward.
After that, Clara and the nutcracker prince were transported to the snow forest. Children were dressed as "snowballs" and tumbled across the stage doing cartwheels and flips. Then the couple was greeted by the Snow Queen (Maizyalet Velázquez) and Snow King (Patric Palkens), whose costumes were a little less than stellar (rather basic. See below). I noticed in the program that none of the principal dancers were women, which I found very odd; Velázquez is a soloist, so the senior soloists must have been dancing later in the week. I've seen stronger dancing, but I did like how they were throwing snow across the stage and truly adding to the festive theme. I really felt like I was in a snow forest!
The Snowflakes were essentially wearing nightgowns. Image found here.
After the intermission, we were in the Land of Sweets! The Sugar Plum Fairy (Chisako Oga) and her Cotton Candy Cavalier (Cervilio Miguel Amador) were on the same skill level as the Snow Queen and King, and their costumes were just as plain (see below). And why male dancers wear any other colored tights than white is beyond me. White looks the best!
Then it was time for all the dances of the sweets! The Spanish chocolates were up first (I couldn't find a photo), and then the Arabian coffee came out. The Arabian dance is one of my favorites because it's so sensual. This time there were three dancers: James Gilmer was being fought over between Courtney Connor Jones and Maizyalet Velázquez. I liked the play between these three dancers, and the two women reminded me of the music video for Beautiful Liar (see below). There were some moves with a scarf, but there were so few that it wasn't memorable; I felt bad for the dancers who had to be the "scarf attendants," because they really didn't do much.
Then what would usually be the marzipan dance was instead a dance of "Mirlipoos." I'm not exactly sure where the name comes from, but they were brightly colored poodles (and "Minnie the Poodle" followed Clara around as her buddy throughout the show). While certainly unusual, the poodles were funny, showing mannerisms of dogs like lolling their tongues and jumping around playfully.
Instead of Mother Ginger coming out next with her children, there was a hen with all her chicks! The chicks were cute, but I will admit I missed the hilarious role of a man playing Mother Ginger.
Then the Rose (i.e. "Dewdrop," played by Sirui Liu) and the Flowers came on stage. Since this is near the end of the ballet, I will admit that I started to doze off a bit. I didn't love the costumes, especially the garish floral fabrics chosen for the Flowers to wear. But I guess making the bodices green like leaves or a stem is creative...?
I did enjoy this performance, but I was not "wowed" like I have been in the past. Even for writing this blog post, I was looking up videos from other companies, and I saw this one of the Arabian coffee dance from the Moscow Ballet (see below). Now THAT is amazing! I know it's hard to compete with Russian ballet companies, but still: you can always strive to be better!
I knew The Edge of Seventeen was a sort of "coming of age story" that would be full of teenage angst. I just didn't know how much adolescent agony you could fit into one film.
Let's just start with the previews so you know what kind of mood I was in by the time the movie started:
Just like in my last blog post, I've decided I'm not really into sci-fi. The only reason I'd watch this movie is to watch Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence get it on, and seeing as we're in America, the censoring won't even make it worth watching.
The Edge of Seventeen is about a girl named Nadine (played by Hailee Steinfeld) who is the most horrible teenager ever. Here's what makes her so terrible:
-Her best friend (okay, only friend) starts dating Nadine's brother, and Nadine FLIPS OUT. She's so mad at her friend and eventually tells her friend she has to choose between her brother and her. Even I knew in fourth grade that friends who tried to make you choose between friends weren't good friends at all.
-She messages some older guy from her school (she claims that juvi made him hotter) that she likes him, has for a long time, has always wanted to talk to him, wants to give him head...Wait, what?! She goes on to write that she wants him inside her and they could do it at Petland where he works. Yeah...So she already looks (is) crazy. But then when he actually texts her back and drives her to some seclude place to have sex, she acts surprised that he wants to jump her bones! When he tells her he doesn't want to get to know her, he just wants to have sex, she's the most upset that we've seen her in the entire movie (even more so than when her dad died!). She's crying hysterically, like her heart is completely broken. I mean, really? You couldn't see that from a mile away? AND this is the first time in the movie when she actually tries to dress normally and cute and look like a pretty girl. All for that dirtbag criminal. The irony.
-She makes assumptions about other people because of her own securities. She claims her brother is such a jerk for being good looking and having so many friends and being the perfect son, etc., and that he throws it in Nadine's face. BUT the truth is he doesn't! He's got his own problems (serious ones, like having to take care of his mom) and doesn't see his life as perfect or see himself as some son of God. She also thinks her teacher is a sad old man who nobody loves and jokes about his teacher salary, only to find out later that he has a beautiful wife and baby boy at home. She tries to make others feel bad about themselves because she hates herself so much.
-Speaking of God, she has an epiphany while sitting on the toilet (nice touch) that God has never been there for her and never done anything good for her. Hmm, like having a roof over her head, clothes to wear, and food to eat...? Aren't those blessings? Get a grip, girl. There are people in the world who have it SO much worse than you.
-She gets so mad at her brother that at one point she tells him the story of him crying after their dad died, and she said she wished that her brother would love her that much. But why would he?! She acts like a complete bitch ALL the time! I'm surprised he put up with her BS at all!
It's like the movie wants you to hate her. I understand trying to make her out to be a misfit in her uncoordinated outfits who's trying to find her own way, but the audience can't even relate to her because she's just a bad person. She even says in the movie that she feels like she's looking at herself from the outside and doesn't like what she sees. She tries to save it in the last 10-15 minutes of the movie (by actually being nice! What an idea!), but it's too late. The seeds have been sown.
Then I went to Bar Louie to drink away the memory of this movie. I heard this song in the bar, which instantly lifted my spirits; Stepbrothers is a much better movie.
I'm not really a fan of alien movies, but I thought Arrival looked interesting, since it's more about communicating with aliens rather than going to war with them. Amy Adams plays a linguist that the military hires to learn the language of the aliens and speak with them to find out why they came to Earth. While there are times that the men around her doubt her capabilities, in the end she gets the job done, and the world is not faced with inter-species war.
While the concept is good, the execution didn't do it for me. For one, it drags on, and mainly during the scenes when you want to get to the good part! And the waiting isn't suspenseful; it's just boring. For example, when humans are about to go into the pod, the time it takes for them to leave the ground and fully make it inside the pod takes at least five minutes. You're thinking, "Just get up there! I don't need to watch you slowly move to the inevitable. Get on with it!"
There is a time travel aspect to the film which I wasn't expecting, and I was totally confused. I can never get my head around any movie involving the warping of time, and this was no exception. Throughout the film you see Amy Adams' character having flashbacks, but eventually you realize that they aren't memories of the past: she's looking into the future. The idea is that the aliens do not see time as linear; everything is cyclical. So essentially they can see the future, and so can she. But because of this, you get confused about the plot, because plots should be linear. So you're mixed up about what things happened when. And some things just weren't explained well. There are twelve alien pods around the world, and they are somehow connected, but you don't figure out how the twelve puzzle pieces fit together. At the end of the movie, you have more questions than answers; you don't feel closure. You're thinking, "Wait, what just happened? And what was the point?"
On top of that, I was disappointed that the aliens looked like octopi (well, heptapods). I feel like all portrayals of aliens make them either look like little guys with huge heads and big eyes or somehow have lots of tentacles. I mean, really? Is that the only way other species from outer space could look? Aliens could look like ANYTHING, and yet we insist that they can only take these few forms that our weak imaginations create.
The only redeeming quality of the film is that a woman plays the protagonist, and she's really smart and saves the day; gold star for feminism. But honestly, my favorite part of the movie is that the music from the song "This Bitter Earth" is in it, and I love that song. Take a listen:
I guess the only alien movies I like are related to Star Wars or Star Trek. Everything else is just rubbish.
If you would like to read a good review about the film that includes a nice summary, check out this article.
Last night I saw Lewis Black live at the Fillmore in Silver Spring! I had seen his stand-up on TV and thought he was hilarious, so when a friend bought tickets, I definitely wanted to go! AND we got to sit in the front row!
John Bowman opened up for Lewis Black. He's another older guy, and his stuttering or stumbling over his words was a bit distracting (just as it is when Black does it, too). I didn't find him particularly funny, but he did sing a song (accompanied by a ukulele) about Gwyneth Paltrow's recommendation to "steam your vagina" as a spa treatment. So that was amusing.
Of course Lewis Black mostly told jokes related to politics. He did say that he thinks he may be out of a job soon, now that reality (i.e. the election mess that we're in now) is crazy enough on its own that he doesn't need to tell jokes. I think he poked more fun at Trump, but he certainly made comments about Hillary as well, particularly since he had to "deal with" her when she was the senator of New York. He also joked about Silver Spring, since he's from the area, and did at one point get on his soapbox about mental illness (not as funny). He did have a running joke about how he was going to create a gun store in Alabama called "Jewy Jew's" (or was it "Jewy Lew's"?), so he peppered that joke into his routine throughout the evening (clearly lots of NRA jokes, too).
I was certainly entertained, but I didn't think this show was as funny as his previous stuff. I laughed out loud a few times, but I just wasn't feeling it. But I am thankful that he didn't heckle those of us in the front row like some other comedians would! And I did buy some merchandise for my dad: he's going to love them as gifts!
Each fall, I walk past the Verizon Center and see F Street blocked off with horse stables, and then I remember that the Washington International Horse Show is in town! I would always forget and never bought tickets, but this year I remembered! I figured since my friends and I weren't going to the International Gold Cup this fall, we could do this instead. What's not to love about horses?
This horse show is a lot of fun! I got GREAT seats (fourth row!) for just $22 each, so it's an inexpensive way to spend a fun evening. Of course I've never grown out of my pony phase, so I loved just watching the horses. I don't know why horses are such a girl thing, but the majority of the audience was made of up young girls who already ride. Because of the young audience, there were a lot of silly bits to the show, like contests for which group (stable? farm?) designed the best poster, which group brought the most people and had the most team spirit, etc. I didn't care about that part; I just wanted to see the horses and ponies!
Here are some videos I found online. I'm not sure if they're exactly from the evening when I went, but you get the idea:
One of the reasons I bought tickets for this particular day was because I knew there would be Shetland pony races. How cute is that?! (I apologize for the buzzing noise in the background of the video below.)
There was an adult's competition at the end, and the riders were all dressed up for Halloween (some even decorated their horses!). While this all sounds really fun, the winner received $30,000, so that's a pretty serious prize! Here are some pics of the costumes:
A clown. A little creepy with all of this scary clown stuff happening recently...
This guy was actually on the Olympic team! Hence his jacket.
The Queen of Hearts. And her horse was the White Rabbet, with ears, glasses, and a fluffy bunny tail!
I had a really fun time at this horse show, and I highly recommend it. The only thing that would have made the night better would have been if we were allowed to pet the horses!
Although, I was not quite inspired enough to do this:
A few months ago I bought tickets to this comedy show. I had seen both Bridget Everett and Michael Ian Black perform before, and I remembered that they were pretty funny. But the evening was crazier than I expected.
This was the stage greeting us before the show even began: a naked man and two creepy dolls. Not a good sign.
The opening act called Mother Knuckle was HORRIBLE. I don't know where Brightest Young Things (the host of the Bentzen Ball) found these guys, but I hope they didn't pay them a dime. The piece was so stupid and not funny in the least. I honestly would have paid to have them leave the stage. I was hoping I could find a video to show you, but since I couldn't, I will try to describe the insanity that was on stage.
Two people come out dressed like dinosaurs in space suits, and even when they take their dino heads off to reveal the two young men inside the costumes, they continue to sing about dinosaurs and essentially how they're going to turn all the people in the room into dinosaurs. The lyrics don't really make sense, and they're half singing, half talking through them. The two guys were sort of dancing, even coming off the stage to throw pamphlets into the audience, and then returning to the stage and sort of crawling around. Before you know it, one thing leads to another and one of the guys is naked on stage except for the diaper he's wearing. And that was it. What. The. Fuck.
Then a local comedian Jason Weems came on stage. I was so glad that he started his act with stating how ridiculous the previous performance was. He then mostly told jokes about being a father, which I always find hilarious since those sorts of stories just confirm my feelings of not wanting children. Here are some videos I found online from some of Jason's other shows:
Melissa Villaseñor was next. She's one of the newest cast members of Saturday Night Live, so I wasn't very surprised that she wasn't that funny, seeing as SNL hasn't been any good since the 90's. Her natural voice is so annoying to listen to, so at least part of her routine was doing impressions so that we didn't have to listen to her own voice anymore. Here's a sampling of her impressions (though this video does not include her Michael Jackson impression, which was very good and included the moon walk):
Then Michael Ian Black came on. His entire routine was about cargo shorts and how some men wear them year-round. Really? It wasn't that humorous, and it was too reminiscent of Daniel Tosh's joke about cargo pants to be original (see below).
Then it was time for Bridget Everett. I saw her about a year ago in California (read that blog post here), but I had forgotten how over the top she is; she even called those of us who were seeing her for a second time "sick fucks." I remembered that she was a bosomy woman who liked to interact with the crowd and put her boobs in people's faces. But she is so much more than that. She says she is a cabaret singer, and I will say, she does have a really good singing voice. But when you listen to the words of her songs, you can't help but blush! However, I will say that I remembered several of the songs she performed, so I'm not sure how often she comes up with new material. She sort of serenades people; this time she centered in on one older man whom she named "Gary," and she would not leave the poor man alone all night long! Same with a Bernie Sanders look-a-like and a heavily bearded hipster. Just remember this if you go to see her: don't sit in an aisle seat or in the front row; it's like the Splash Zone at SeaWorld. Here are some videos:
And wouldn't you know that the Miley Cyrus song was included in my Bodypump class the next day. It's like the trauma I experienced the night before would not leave me alone.
PS: All of this happened, too. I'll let the images speak for themselves:
Bridget kissed this girl and then piggy-backed her onto the stage. The girl was totally cool with it, so I'm thinking she was a plant? Image found here.
This is the guy she pulled up on stage for the end of her show when she sits on a guy's face. He was not enthusiastic. Image found here.
