Movie Review: Table 19 [SPOILERS]

I ended up having a quiet night at home last week, so I figured I'd treat myself to a movie night. Boy, was I disappointed with my Redbox choice.

Image found here

While I didn't know much about Table 19, I thought it was a comedy, since the few commercials I saw for it earlier this year showed some funny bits. Yes, it looked stupid, but I was in the mood for a fun movie.

But it was not funny. If anything it was kind of depressing. Here's the run-down of what made this movie so bad:

1. There is nothing likeable about any of the characters. Those creepy smiles say it all. Lisa Kudrow attended the wedding with her husband but had planned to have an affair that weekend with someone else (She complained that she and her husband hadn't had sex in three years, but never explained why.). The cute random guy Anna Kendrick meets (and kisses) is actually the groom of another wedding. The random relative at Table 19 stole more than $100,000 from the bride's father (as well as stole a wedding cake from a different wedding). No one has any redeeming qualities. Well, except maybe the nanny. She was a nice old lady.

2. This movie does NOT know how to "sell" love. The reason movies, novels, etc. were invented is to tell stories to help people escape from their regular, dull lives. So you'd think a movie that centers around a wedding would want the audience to leave feeling like love conquers all. But no. The message of this movie is this: You will always disappoint your partner, and you're both going to do stupid things (i.e. be "ridiculous," a word the script uses way too often), but you put up with it, and being able to forgive each other is all that love is. WTF. That's the take-away message about love from this movie?

3. The main character has an unplanned pregnancy. I HATE movies that use this sob story to try to make the audience sympathize with the character. NO! You are a complete moron. Pregnancy is 100% preventable (with abstinence) and more than 90% preventable using two forms of contraception. The parents (Anna Kendrick and Wyatt Russell) are clearly well-educated people with high socioeconomic backgrounds, and even they are total idiots when it comes to safe sex. What hope is there for the rest of the world, especially for young women? I can't believe how many movies I have seen in the past year that portray young women as lost, incompetent, irresponsible people. WHY is this the way society views the women of my generation? It's disappointing and embarrassing that this is how my peers are viewed, and even more horrible that this portrayal isn't too off the mark sometimes...

Do NOT bother watching this movie. You will have wasted an hour and 27 minutes of your life.