Book Review: Mindy Kaling's "Why Not Me?"

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Earlier during the quarantine, I read Mindy Kaling's first book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? I realize I was late to the party on that book as well as this one, but better late than never! If you'd like to read my review of her first book, you can find that here. 

Now I've read her second but very similar book, Why Not Me? Here are my thoughts which I have previously posted to Goodreads.*

I first learned about Mindy Kaling not from her work in TV, but from the fact that she was a Dartmouth alumna like me. The parts in her books when she writes about our alma mater are some of my favorites. In this book, she describes her experiences with her sorority (we were not in the same one, but we were both part of local sororities, so there's that), and one of my favorite quotes was when she described the school as "an academic institution located in lawless rural New Hampshire where, when you arrive, you are given a flask of moonshine and a box of fireworks and simply told: 'Go to town.'" Clearly not true, but also not completely inaccurate...

But I also learned that I have many more things in common with Mindy:

• We both think weddings are mandatory fun and that honeymoons are really just fuck trips that couples expect other people to pay for.
• We agree that spending time nursing a break-up is something you do in your 20's, not your 30's; we've got better things to do.
• We both want the same things in a man: honesty, maturity, patience, financial security (for himself!). Although she did mention something about an enormous penis. Whether it was in jest or not, I do not know, but I myself am terrified of huge penises. No thank you.
• She was also a Latin nerd in high school. Hello, certamens!
• We both want to be good role models for other (younger) women.

But it wasn't just these gems of similarity that I enjoyed in this book. She also made some wonderfully thought-provoking comments:

• "Confidence is like respect: you have to earn it." As a confident woman who demands respect, I never really thought about it like this. I contribute my confidence to the way my parents raised me, always telling me I was smart, beautiful, and could do anything I wanted. And I believed them. But I did work hard in school, and my good grades added to my confidence, so in that way, yes, confidence is something you earn through hard work. Respect is the same way: you must respect yourself and others before they respect you. Although I will say, earning respect from a man is nearly impossible...Perhaps it's because they have yet to respect themselves? Or are terrible insecure? Or both?

• "Some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don't hate themselves." This kind of goes along with the first quote. Our society is built around white men, and therefore any of us who are not white men are expected to feel inferior and hate ourselves. And when we don't, the whole system goes out of whack. Men don't know what to think about a confident woman because their worldview tells them that women SHOULD hate themselves; women who hate themselves are uncomfortable around confident women because misery loves company. You can't win.

• "Entitlement in and of itself isn't so bad." While I 100% concede that I am a privileged, white woman and some of my entitlement comes from that, not all of it does. Entitlement means feeling like you deserve something. And there have been times when I have felt entitled because of my hard work, which is the kind that Mindy is saying isn't so bad. After I graduated from Dartmouth with several internship experiences, I refused to accept another internship: I felt entitled to have a job. And I waited it out and I got a great job. I have quit a job without giving notice because I felt entitled to work in a non-toxic work environment where I can do my job without being micromanaged, because I KNOW I can do the work. So Mindy and I are on the same page about it being okay to feel entitled as long as you've put in the hard work to make sure you really deserve what you want.

Anyway, that is a very long review saying how much I like Mindy Kaling and this book!

*I love the Goodreads app/website. It's a great way to track books that you would like to read as well as review ones you've already finished. AND now that the year is coming to a close, Goodreads gave me stats on my reading! Thus far in 2020, I have read 23 books, which means more than 7,000 pages! One of the silver linings of this pandemic means more time for reading, which is never a bad thing.