Ok, I'm using the word "break-up" too strongly here: I went out with a guy five times in a month. So not a real break-up; we just stopped seeing each other. Of course at first rejection always sucks, but then you realize all the silver-linings of not being with that person. The list is long:
1. I don't have to waste my time with an asshole. Any guy who feels entitled to sex within a certain (i.e. short) timeframe can go fuck himself. It's hard to think of anything less attractive than a man pressuring me to sleep with him when I barely know him. If you have to force a woman to do something, news flash: she doesn't want to do that thing with you (at least not right now). This is the one that makes me think, "Whew, I dodged a bullet there! Why would I want to be with someone like that?" Now I just feel sorry for the other women he's going to be with. Unfortunately, too many women have insecurities that make them feel like they have to sleep with a guy, or that their only worth is their bodies, or that they have no value if they aren't with a man. If more women loved themselves, they wouldn't waste their time trying to love someone like this, and there would be fewer men who see women as little more than sex objects.
2. I don't have to figure out his family drama. Don't get me wrong: everybody has something going on with their family. I get it if you have a weird uncle or your sister is a little silly and immature. But he had some baggage that clearly has influenced how he views and treats women, as well as other issues that he has to carry for the rest of his life. I try not to judge people on this too much, because you can't choose your family, and sometimes things happen when you're young that you had no control over. But that doesn't mean it doesn't stick with you for the rest of your life, impacting your future relationships. And I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.
3. I don't have to be inconvenienced. Of course when you love someone, you don't see them like that, even if you have to do things you don't want to do. But seeing as I barely knew this person, I wasn't at that forgiving point (Let's be real: I hate being inconvenienced almost as much as I hate being disrespected, so maybe I never reach that point...). Anyway, now I don't have to deal with sleepless nights while his cats run around at midnight (and I won't have fur on my clothes anymore) or dread when he would start treating me like his personal Uber driver since he doesn't have a car. The fewer worries I have in my life, the better, and now I don't have to think about this kind of shit anymore.
4. I can focus on myself. This is the best part of being single: I get to do what I want, when I want, without having to take into account another person's thoughts or feelings (keep in mind this man had no feelings other than that urge in his pants). If I don't want to shave my legs, I don't have to. If I go a week (or a month) without wearing make-up, so what? I can spend a night in watching movies while painting my nails and doing a face mask without feeling guilty that I'm supposed to be with a man at that moment. There are no restrictions when I'm on my own: I live my best life just as I want to, not how someone expects me to.
So the next time you get dumped, think of it like this: you are getting so much more out of life NOT being with that person. He's dragging you down! DTMFA!
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