Confidence is Key: Bentzen Ball Comedy Show

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A few months ago I bought tickets to this comedy show. I had seen both Bridget Everett and Michael Ian Black perform before, and I remembered that they were pretty funny. But the evening was crazier than I expected.

This was the stage greeting us before the show even began: a naked man and two creepy dolls. Not a good sign.

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The opening act called Mother Knuckle was HORRIBLE. I don't know where Brightest Young Things (the host of the Bentzen Ball) found these guys, but I hope they didn't pay them a dime. The piece was so stupid and not funny in the least. I honestly would have paid to have them leave the stage. I was hoping I could find a video to show you, but since I couldn't, I will try to describe the insanity that was on stage.

See? Image found here.

Two people come out dressed like dinosaurs in space suits, and even when they take their dino heads off to reveal the two young men inside the costumes, they continue to sing about dinosaurs and essentially how they're going to turn all the people in the room into dinosaurs. The lyrics don't really make sense, and they're half singing, half talking through them. The two guys were sort of dancing, even coming off the stage to throw pamphlets into the audience, and then returning to the stage and sort of crawling around. Before you know it, one thing leads to another and one of the guys is naked on stage except for the diaper he's wearing. And that was it. What. The. Fuck.

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Then a local comedian Jason Weems came on stage. I was so glad that he started his act with stating how ridiculous the previous performance was. He then mostly told jokes about being a father, which I always find hilarious since those sorts of stories just confirm my feelings of not wanting children. Here are some videos I found online from some of Jason's other shows:

Melissa Villaseñor was next. She's one of the newest cast members of Saturday Night Live, so I wasn't very surprised that she wasn't that funny, seeing as SNL hasn't been any good since the 90's. Her natural voice is so annoying to listen to, so at least part of her routine was doing impressions so that we didn't have to listen to her own voice anymore. Here's a sampling of her impressions (though this video does not include her Michael Jackson impression, which was very good and included the moon walk):

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Then Michael Ian Black came on. His entire routine was about cargo shorts and how some men wear them year-round. Really? It wasn't that humorous, and it was too reminiscent of Daniel Tosh's joke about cargo pants to be original (see below).

Then it was time for Bridget Everett. I saw her about a year ago in California (read that blog post here), but I had forgotten how over the top she is; she even called those of us who were seeing her for a second time "sick fucks." I remembered that she was a bosomy woman who liked to interact with the crowd and put her boobs in people's faces. But she is so much more than that. She says she is a cabaret singer, and I will say, she does have a really good singing voice. But when you listen to the words of her songs, you can't help but blush! However, I will say that I remembered several of the songs she performed, so I'm not sure how often she comes up with new material. She sort of serenades people; this time she centered in on one older man whom she named "Gary," and she would not leave the poor man alone all night long! Same with a Bernie Sanders look-a-like and a heavily bearded hipster. Just remember this if you go to see her: don't sit in an aisle seat or in the front row; it's like the Splash Zone at SeaWorld. Here are some videos:

And wouldn't you know that the Miley Cyrus song was included in my Bodypump class the next day. It's like the trauma I experienced the night before would not leave me alone.

PS: All of this happened, too. I'll let the images speak for themselves:

Bridget kissed this girl and then piggy-backed her onto the stage. The girl was totally cool with it, so I'm thinking she was a plant? Image found here.