Saturday, November 16, 2013

The Dos and Don'ts of Dating for Men

There have always been social normative rules for dating. Yes, they change over time, but in general, I think the rules for a man wooing a woman are essentially the same. The main sentiment should be that the man wants her to feel special. That's the gist. So here are some dating rules to do that (or things that will NOT make her feel special).

1. Old Fashioned Chivalry: Open doors. Pull out chairs. Help her into the car. These are certainly not necessary, and I usually don't notice if a man doesn't do these things. But when he does do them, my mind is blown. These little things can make a big impression!

2. The morning after: If she stayed the night last night, even if nothing happened in the bedroom, you should still be nice to her. Offer that she can use your shower (and your blow dryer). Ask if she'd like breakfast, or if she'd like to go to breakfast. If not, you can offer to walk or drive her home, or at least walk her to the metro. Notice that all of these are "offers." Even if she doesn't take you up on any of these, the fact that you asked means a lot.

3. Make plans: Nothing ruins a date from the get-go more than you showing up and saying, "So, what are we doing?" Unless she suggested an idea already, the girl is figuring you've got something up your sleeves. So when you straight-up admit that you didn't think ahead, you're telling her, "You're not worth thinking about unless you're right in front of me." The girl wants to be in your mind all the time! She wants to know that you like her! So when you don't try to make plans ahead of time, you're just resting on your laurels, which doesn't impress anyone.

4. Paying the bill: Since the feminist movement, this is probably the main game-changer in dating. Going dutch (or splitting the bill) is becoming more popular so that everything is fair/equal. And some women feel like if they planned the date (ex. it was their idea to see a comedy show), then they should pay. But most women still really appreciate it if the man pays for dinner/what-have-you. I always make sure to say "thank you" more than once when a man treats me on a date. It's a big deal!

5. Punctuality: One of my biggest pet peeves is when people show up late (not just dates, but friends, family, etc.). Tardiness is a smack in the face that says, "My time is more valuable than yours." When a man shows up late on a date, he's got to spend the rest of the date digging himself out of that hole. You want to show a woman respect? Show up on time. Show up early? She already wants to take you home.

This list could go on and on. What would you add?

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