Wednesday, December 17, 2014

2014 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Screen shot
I realize this post is not very timely, but I actually didn't watch the 2014 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show until this past weekend. But since the show wasn't even live on TV, I guess it doesn't matter. I think that was the thing that annoyed me most about this year's fashion show: there was no surprise! I was seeing tweets and photos about the show before it even aired, and even during the presentation, the moment of surprise was DOA. For one collection all of the models were out on stage all at once instead of coming onto the runway one at a time, and they practically showed the entire "Fairy Tale" collection and wings in the "behind the scenes" filming before we even saw it on the runway! There is something to be said about the element of surprise!

And the fact that the show was in London really ticked me off. First of all, didn't they have a British-themed collection last year? And I'm going to assume that the United States is the biggest market for Victoria's Secret products. So why would you hold the show anywhere but in America? What's next, China? North Korea?

Now onto the actual show. I was quite disappointed this year. I wasn't wowed like I have been in the past. The show can be summed up in one word/sound: "meh." First of all, as time goes by, the uglier the girls get. Okay, ugly is a strong word. But most of the 47 models in the show are not classic beauties like Cindy or Heidi. So the fact that the TV airing starts off with listing the models by only their first names is ridiculous. These are NOT household names! People don't know who these girls are! They are NOT supermodels, just skinny girls who happen to be in the catalog/runway show. I dare you to ask people on the street, "Who is Lily Aldridge?" I guarantee you will be met with blank stares (even her wikipedia page doesn't post a picture of her!). There were even more obscure names; who the heck is Stella?

Then to top it all off, the show opens with Behati Prinsloo, who I do not find attractive at all. Her face shape is so weird (such a masculine jaw!), she looks like she's 15, and the fact that she stole her husband (Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine) from a fellow model, Anne V (who's way hotter), just makes her all the more unattractive.

The first collection, "Gilded Angels," might as well have well been called, "Gladiator Divas" or "The Female Icarus." It's just a bunch of opulent, over-the-top gold costumes, from over-sized puffy sleeves to a disco ball bra. The gold bodysuit was kind of interesting, but that's it.

Image found at
Disco inferno! Image found at
At least this is kind of sexy. Image found at

And I hate Karlie Kloss' new hair style. I wonder if they made her change it because her wavy bob looked too much like Taylor Swift's new do...

She looks like a bug. Image found at
Between collections, they showed interviews with the models. Prinsloo actually said that the preparation for the show, like the traveling on planes and buses and all the girls staying in hotels together "is like school." Really? What kind of school did you go to? I never flew anywhere with any of my classmates, and the only bus we rode was the yellow school bus. And my friends weren't 6'2" and skinny either. Then we see the girls going crazy over the runway, as if they've never seen a lit up runway before... And just before Taylor Swift goes on stage to perform, Aldridge claims that she and Swift are "best friends." Gag. Lily, just warning you: If you do something to piss Taylor Swift off, she WILL write a mean song about you. So, no, you're not best friends.

On to the next (and best) part of the show: Taylor Swift performs "Blank Space." I LOVE this song and the music video, so I was pumped to see her perform. She was dressed in a silk nightgown and robe, and could totally pass as a Victoria's Secret model herself. She's hotter than most of them! And some of the models were mouthing the words to the song while they walked, which I thought was pretty awesome.
" 'Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream. " Image found at
Too bad the costumes that accompanied Swift's first number were not as impressive. The collection is called "Dream Girls," though I'm not sure why; they weren't outfits of my dreams. The main theme connecting the outfits was cotton-candy pink, which is NOT my dream color. Leave the pink to Barbie and little girls. More puffy sleeves, feather shoes (how cliché), and unconnected garters (why the hell would you wear a garter belt without thigh highs?! That's what they're made for!) killed this collection (and not in a good way).

Yes, she's dressed up like a powder puff. Or a poodle. Image found at
Garter straps flapping in the wind. Find original image here:
I had high hopes for the next collection, titled "Exotic Traveler." First of all, that just sounds sexy. "Exotic" is probably one of the most common words connected to "fantasy," and lingerie is all about fantasy, is it not? So of course they brought out Adriana and Alessandra wearing the fantasy bras, bejeweled numbers made with real gems. These pieces were absolutely stunning, and these two women looked like exotic travelers for sure!

PERFECTION! Image found at
Adriana and Alessandra (they actually don't need their last names listed) are the only women in the show who can say they are supermodels, and who actually deserve the title. I loved their interview together, when they talked about being "devilish"childhood friends and raising their kids together (I can't believe they've had babies! Their bodies do not show it at all.). But I do think it goes a little too far to say, "Where would we [Victoria's Secret] be without them?" There are other models in the world. If these two weren't the famous ones, two other women would take their place.

The rest of this collection just had too much going on. There were feathers everywhere (I guess Victoria's Secret didn't care about the fact that Native Americans would probably be offended by this type of costume...), and there were SO many colors and patterns all over the place! The bright greens and pinks would be more appropriate for the PINK collection. It was all just a rainbow vomit fest. Yes, these looks are new and different, which is what fashion is all about, but would I actually want to wear this stuff? No. Except maybe the burgundy feather vest; that was kind of cute.

I'm not even Native American, and I'm offended by this outfit. Image found at
I mean, did a child put these outfits together? Image found at
I would wear this vest, but with actual clothes underneath. Image found at
Backstage the girls talked about how nervous they were about the show. Mind you, most of them have done this before, and more than once. Grow up already! This is YOUR JOB! Do I get nervous when I send a work email or give a presentation to my team in the office? No, because it's what I'm paid to do, and I'm a professional. So put your big girl VS panties on and do the job you're paid to do and don't act like such a scaredy cat. To top all that off, Prinsloo actually compared hitting the pose at the end of the runway to "scoring a touchdown." I'm certain she has never played football. How would she know?

Ariana Grande performed the next number. She did a very good job, to the point that the cameras paid more attention to her (and her Bambi eyes) and her ridiculous male backup dancers than they did to the actual models. She, too, looks like she's a teenager, and was so stupid asking if she could spank the models' butts as they walked past her on the runway. How demeaning! Can you imagine if a male performer asked to do that?! That is so distasteful.

Image found at
I mean, "Ew!" Image found at
"University of Pink" was the next collection, and the PINK outfits are usually my least favorite; this year did not disappoint: they were hideous as ever. Crotch aprons and skirts made out of plastic raincoat are not sexy. The shiny pink outfits were pretty scary (see photo above), as were the stereotypical "ghetto" earrings. I actually want a pair of the leggings, but that was the only positive for this collection.

Image found at
Image found at
I would totally rock these leggings. Image found at
Then we got to go backstage to learn more about the wings. "Wings are a major part of the show..." No shit, Sherlock. Did that actually need to be said? Unless you've been living under a rock for the last decade or so, you know that there are wings in the VS Fashion Show, and that they have only gotten bigger as time goes on. The wings are beautiful; they are real works of art! It was fun to see the wings being made, and learning how long it takes to create the finished product!

These wings are quite unique. Too bad it looks like her snake of a corset/chastity belt is strangling her midsection. Original image found here:

Gorgeous! Image found at
Not loving the rest of the outfit, but the wings are beautiful! Image found at
I love the idea of the "Fairy Tale" collection, because what girl has not wanted to be a fairy at some point in her life? The runway was like the middle of the woods, with trees and leaves, which I thought was very appropriate and cool. But, once again, I was disappointed by the actual outfits. I expected the costumes to be very ethereal, but really they were just Easter pastel outfits with some flowers and sparkles sprinkled in here and there. Prinsloo looked like mold, and the booty tooch at the end of the runway (though Tyra Banks would be proud) was not classy.

Again, disconnected garter straps. But the wings are stunning. Original image found here:
Prinsloo may look like moldy moss, but that doesn't make her as beautiful as Kate Moss. Image found at
Aw, it's Tinker Bell...with a tattoo and armpit stubble. Image found at
I thought the models were supposed to be angels, not dragonflies. Image found at
Candice, you know better. Screen shot.
Then we had the chance to learn about Russell James, a photographer that has been working with Victoria's Secret for more than 18 years. He's an "extreme" photographer, but he really does "capture their [the models] beauty." I think he's very talented, and I definitely want a copy of his new book, "Angels."

The last part of the show starts off with Kloss talking about ballet. First of all, how long did she actually practice ballet? She talked about it like she's an expert, but she's only 22. She didn't even dance pointe on this program. But I do like the comparison between modeling and ballet, since there's no talking involved, both are all about movement, and both can be very beautiful.

Image found at
Swift performed during this last collection, and although I hadn't heard the song "Style" before, I loved it (no surprise there). Plus, she looked great in her second outfit, too. I liked that this collection featured black lace lingerie; it was all very classic. They were pieces that "don't go out of style" (except for maybe the weird monocle mask). This was by far my favorite collection of the show. So, maybe they just wanted to save the best for last?

Photo taken by Joel Ryan/Invision. Image found at
Look at the clothes, not their faces. Blegh. Image found at
A one-sided mask? Really? Image found at
At the end of the show, balloons fell from the ceiling, blocking the view of the cameras several times, so the viewer couldn't even get a last good look at some of the outfits. I mean, really?

I thought we were watching a fashion show, not a 5-year-old's birthday party. Image found at
Oh, sorry I didn't mention these two guys. I don't really know who they are...

Image found at

Image found at
In doing research for the photos for this post, it seems like most people responded positively to this fashion show. Am I the only one who wasn't in love with it?

No comments:

Post a Comment