Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Waffle House vs. IHOP

Ihop logo is from & Waffle House logo is from
Before this past weekend, I had never been to a Waffle House before. I had seen the signs with the big yellow letters, but had actually never been inside to eat there. Since I love the IHOP, I figured I'd give Waffle House a go.

There is no comparison: IHOP is awesome, Waffle House sucks. Here's why:

1. The IHOP has SO much more food to choose from! I looked at the Waffle House menu and thought, "This is it?" I even asked for the larger menu, which probably only had a handful more items than their basic menu. There are so many delicious breakfast foods, and I was sorry that I was so limited in my choices. Like, no omelets? What?!

2. Waffle House barely offers anything on their a la carte menu. I wanted to add an egg to my waffle order, and I just couldn't see on their menu where to find ONE egg! You either got two eggs, or some combo, but nothing simple. It was impossible to build my own breakfast! I either had to get one of the few combinations they offered, or get a single waffle.

3. I ordered a peanut butter waffle, since I love peanut butter and figured I had to order a waffle at Waffle House. I assumed "peanut butter waffle" meant peanut butter cooked into the batter. Uh, no. It was a handful of miniature peanut butter chips sprinkled on top of a plain waffle. Wow, like I couldn't do that at home...

4. The restaurant was quite small. It was like a tiny diner, where you can see the staff making the food. I don't want to see that. The waffle irons were dribbling batter down the sides, you see how long food sits there before it actually gets to the customer...Ew. The IHOP keeps the kitchen staff hidden so that I can enjoy my 1,000-calorie meal in ignorance of how it's actually made.

5. The service at Waffle House was so slow! I was sitting at the counter (the best view of the kitchen mentioned in #4), so you would think it would be easy enough for one of the seven people back there to notice that I had been sitting there for 15 minutes and had yet to be helped. And then it took another 20 minutes to whip up a glass of orange juice, some hash browns (plain), and the sorry excuse of a peanut butter waffle. I mean, really? I was in a rush, so then I had to scarf all that food down in ten minutes. Yum.

Going to the IHOP always makes me so happy. This single trip to Waffle House practically ruined my day. So the winner is clear. IHOP, you're awesome. I love you.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Movie Review: Adore [SPOILERS]

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After grabbing an early dinner with a friend, I came home the other night and figured I'd just relax. Which obviously means watching another movie.

I had Adore on my Netflix Watch Instantly queue, mainly because it's a foreign romance film, which usually means things are going to get kinky real quick. This film is a recipe for a sexual disaster: two Australian women who have been life-long best friends start sleeping with each other's sons. ZOMG! Obviously there are issues with this dysfunctional situation. There's the realization that they're doing something wrong, then continuing with it anyway because it makes them feel good, then the heartbreak of couples breaking up when new romances begin (and end)... There's just a lot of hurt involved. But the characters do this (and we watch it) because everyone involved is so freakin' gorgeous! Most of the time they're in bathing suits or beautiful beach chic (think maxi dresses and halter tops for the ladies, linen button-downs and docksiders for the boys). I mean, Naomi Watts gettin' it on with some beach boy who's half her age? Who doesn't want to see that? I can't help but watch movies with beautiful people in them: even if the plot is bad, at least I am visually satisfied. The whole point of watching movies is to escape, right? Well, I certainly don't see people (ahem, bodies) like this in my day-to-day reality. So thank you, Adore.

Plus they all have Australian accents, which is super-hot.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Movie Review: One Day [SPOILERS]

Okay, I realize this movie came out ages ago, but I just got around to watching it. Before I saw it, I only knew that it was a love story starring Anne Hathaway (who is not my favorite, but whatevs).

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I'm just going to throw it out there: this movie is awful. And not just because of Hathaway's huge lips and fake British accent. No, just the entire plot, the whole idea of this movie, is horrible. The gist is that, on graduation day, she hopes to hook up with this guy; it doesn't happen, but they remain lifelong friends. So the whole time during the movie you see them talking to each other on the phone or getting together briefly to catch up, the whole time knowing that she likes him and he's a complete idiot who just wants sex. Anyway, they're both screw-ups (she's a writer-become-Mexican restaurant manager living in London with a guy she doesn't love; he's a social climber who's on drugs/drinks a lot and shows no respect to anyone, including his mom with cancer). So in the midst of these 20 years you watch them fall apart and come back together, etc. in this messy way. In the end, they FINALLY get together, get married, and then she's riding her bike one day and BOOM! She gets hit by a truck and dies. The end.

I mean, what?! First of all, the idea of the whole "turning my best guy friend whom I've loved forever into my boyfriend" is so cliché and never works out anyway (clearly: she ended up dead in the middle of the street when she could have stayed with the sexy French jazz musician). Also, who wants to watch a movie about two dysfunctional people and their dysfunctional pseudo-platonic relationship? I have my shit together, and I like to watch movies about people who have their shit together; if you're a mess, fictional or otherwise, I just don't want to deal with you. And just the frustration of knowing that they love each other but couldn't put two-and-two together until 20 years after that graduation night is simply annoying. Why couldn't they just fall in love on graduation night, and then we could have watched a lovely movie about a happily married couple (instead of waiting until the last 20 minutes of the film)? The movie tries to save itself in the end by showing you a flashback to the wonderful day these two had after that graduation night, but the happy ending comes too late, simply because you already know SHE GOT HIT BY A BUS AND DIED.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Movie Review: Blended [SPOILERS]

My second Redbox rental was the latest Barrymore-Sandler romantic comedy. I LOVE The Wedding Singer, so how could I pass this one up?

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First of all, I love Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler each on their own. Some of my favorites from Barrymore include: Never Been Kissed, Ever After, and Charlie's Angels. And from Sandler we have Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison, and Grown Ups. (I own all of these on DVD, btw). And the aforementioned Wedding Singer is in my DVD collection as well. So I clearly was going to watch this movie at some point in my life. And I'm glad I did!

Although I'm not sure this film measures up to any of the others I've mentioned here, I was entertained and did laugh out loud at moments. I think it was that this film emphasized the fact that these two are parents, so a lot of the focus was on the children and their shenanigans rather than these two actors. Yes, there is a love component (with Kevin Nealon chiming in about romance, much like his cameo in Happy Gilmore about golf), which I thoroughly enjoyed; I just wanted more! I think the best part of this movie was the fact that half of it was filmed in South Africa, so the shots of the wild animals and the scenery were just breathtaking. Definitely made me want to go on safari! This is a feel-good rom-com, so it's hard to go wrong. Was it my favorite? No. But it was not a waste of my time (unlike the movie in my next blog post...). I liked it!

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Movie Review: Obvious Child [SPOLIERS]

This past weekend, Redbox was quite a friend to me. I rented several movies, so my next few blog posts will be about them.

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My sister and I rented Obvious Child, a movie I might call an Indie Rom-Com. This movie is about a young, Jewish comedienne (played by Jenny Slate) who lacks a sense of direction and maturity in her life. She completely falls apart when her boyfriend breaks up with her, and in response has a one night stand with a [albeit very nice] stranger (played by Jake Lacy). She realizes this sexual interlude has left her pregnant. She already knows she wants to have an abortion, but spends the latter half of the film trying to figure out a good way to tell this stranger that she is pregnant with his child before she has the procedure.

The rom-com half of my description obviously is the girl-meets-boy part and their awkwardly hilarious yet endearing "relationship." The indie part is the abortion twist, in that this movie is not about the female protagonist's conflict about whether to keep the baby or not. That decision is immediately made in a very matter-of-fact, practical way, which I think leads to a feminist thread in the movie. The focus is also not upon how this abortion will change this woman's life forever, but is rather portrayed as just an event that happens in her life (and in the lives of many other women as well).

I thought this movie was very well cast. Slate is completely convincing in her role, and you want to be her friend and hope everything works out in the end even though she is, personally, a mess. And Lacy does a great job of playing the "nice guy" who you're rooting for (even though you're wondering why he didn't call her back for a second date sooner). The chemistry between the two is very sweet, with her falling for him because of how nice he is, and him being nice not just to impress her or sleep with her again but because he genuinely is a good guy. The movie has a happy ending with these two, which of course makes me love a film even more.

If this movie ends up in the Walmart $5 movie bin, I will buy it. This means I think this movie was worth watching more than once and not that I think it's only worth $5. I just don't pay more than that for a DVD.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Fashion Rant

The other day I received my usual Shop It To Me email, and it mentioned a huge BlueFly sale. Lord knows I don't need anymore clothes, but I figured I'd do some online shopping anyway and check out the deals. Although they have hundreds of items under $50 (which is awesome!), there are just too many items that I can't get behind. Cosmopolitan just published an article about why your clothes look cheap. Here are a few Cosmo didn't mention that I'm seeing all over the BlueFly website.

1. Exposed zippers. I realize this has been a trend for a couple of years now, but I am just not into it. I think an exposed zipper can completely ruin the effect and silhouette of a beautiful dress. Why not just put in a small, unnoticeable zipper, either down the back or even along the side, where it's even less likely to be seen? It's like someone just didn't take their time and just slapped a zipper onto the dress.

2. Unmatched seams. If you're going to make a shirt or dress out of a printed fabric, you need to match up the seams! Otherwise you're stuck with a flower or feather cut in half in an odd place. I'm sure many of you are thinking, "No one notices that!" But I notice, and I can't purchase an article of clothing knowing that there's some bird missing its head or daisy missing half its petals.

The zipper goes right through these eyelet flowers!

The feathers are not aligned at the neck line here.
3. Unfinished backs. Lately I've seen a lot of pieces that have a beautiful print featured on the front of the garment, but when you look at the back, it's just plain black! It's like someone didn't have enough fabric to finish the whole thing, so they just threw together some random fabric on the back to make a complete piece of clothing.

You'd think the back of this dress would match the front, right? Nope. Just black.
*All photos are from the BlueFly website.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Why boyfriends are better than roommates

I'm not sure anyone likes having roommates. I mean, a lot of us need them to help pay the rent, but if we could afford our apartments on our own, many of us would be quite content living alone. But then I think I might get lonely. I don't want to live with my boyfriend (yes, I'm old-fashioned that way), but here are some reasons why he'd be a better roommate.

1. I wouldn't have to remove his hair from the shower drain. His short hairs would just slip through the drain out of sight, rather than end up at the bottom of the tub like a blonde nest that I have to pick up because somehow that has been designated as my job.

2. I wouldn't come home to my apartment smelling like foreign cuisine. For one, it's unlikely he's cooked anything. But even if he had, it would probably just smell like normal chicken or beef. I don't need the pungent smell of some funky fish or spicy sauce permeating throughout the place.

3. There wouldn't be smears of mascara in my bathroom sink. How black make-up in a white sink goes unnoticed is beyond me.

4. The toilet paper would last a lot longer, and I wouldn't be left with just two squares. AND the toilet paper would be replaced facing the right way.

5. I wouldn't have to hear that annoying alarm clock sound in the morning. He wakes up on his own without any music or tweeting or beeping!

6. The dishes would be loaded into the dishwasher correctly. Probably because I put them there, but at least they came directly from the sink, rather than me rearranging them when they're already in the machine stacked on top of each other like some dish orgy.

7. I wouldn't have to rewash "clean" dishes in the drying rack (hint: if there's still grease or bits of food still on there, it's NOT clean). Again, probably because I would have washed the dishes in the first place, although I think he does a good job at this.

8. My clothes drying rack would always be available when I need it, since he dries all of his clothes in the machine or gets them dry cleaned. I wouldn't have to realize that, just when I've finished a load of delicate panties, I have no where to hang them up because the roomie is borrowing my drying rack. Again.

First World problems, I know. And temporary problems, because I will at some point A. marry and live with a man or B. be able to afford a place by myself. It just seems like A or B can't come fast enough... #NeatFreak #OCD (are hashtags allowed in blog posts?)