The Pros to a Break-Up

Ok, I'm using the word "break-up" too strongly here: I went out with a guy five times in a month. So not a real break-up; we just stopped seeing each other. Of course at first rejection always sucks, but then you realize all the silver-linings of not being with that person. The list is long:

1. I don't have to waste my time with an asshole. Any guy who feels entitled to sex within a certain (i.e. short) timeframe can go fuck himself. It's hard to think of anything less attractive than a man pressuring me to sleep with him when I barely know him. If you have to force a woman to do something, news flash: she doesn't want to do that thing with you (at least not right now). This is the one that makes me think, "Whew, I dodged a bullet there! Why would I want to be with someone like that?" Now I just feel sorry for the other women he's going to be with. Unfortunately, too many women have insecurities that make them feel like they have to sleep with a guy, or that their only worth is their bodies, or that they have no value if they aren't with a man. If more women loved themselves, they wouldn't waste their time trying to love someone like this, and there would be fewer men who see women as little more than sex objects.

2. I don't have to figure out his family drama. Don't get me wrong: everybody has something going on with their family. I get it if you have a weird uncle or your sister is a little silly and immature. But he had some baggage that clearly has influenced how he views and treats women, as well as other issues that he has to carry for the rest of his life. I try not to judge people on this too much, because you can't choose your family, and sometimes things happen when you're young that you had no control over. But that doesn't mean it doesn't stick with you for the rest of your life, impacting your future relationships. And I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. 

3. I don't have to be inconvenienced. Of course when you love someone, you don't see them like that, even if you have to do things you don't want to do. But seeing as I barely knew this person, I wasn't at that forgiving point (Let's be real: I hate being inconvenienced almost as much as I hate being disrespected, so maybe I never reach that point...). Anyway, now I don't have to deal with sleepless nights while his cats run around at midnight (and I won't have fur on my clothes anymore) or dread when he would start treating me like his personal Uber driver since he doesn't have a car. The fewer worries I have in my life, the better, and now I don't have to think about this kind of shit anymore. 

4. I can focus on myself. This is the best part of being single: I get to do what I want, when I want, without having to take into account another person's thoughts or feelings (keep in mind this man had no feelings other than that urge in his pants). If I don't want to shave my legs, I don't have to. If I go a week (or a month) without wearing make-up, so what? I can spend a night in watching movies while painting my nails and doing a face mask without feeling guilty that I'm supposed to be with a man at that moment. There are no restrictions when I'm on my own: I live my best life just as I want to, not how someone expects me to. 

So the next time you get dumped, think of it like this: you are getting so much more out of life NOT being with that person. He's dragging you down! DTMFA!

Recipe: Small Batch Banana Muffins

I had one, very ripe banana left, and I didn't want it to go to waste. Most banana bread recipes call for more than one banana, aaaaand I'm kind of tired of making banana bread (been there, done that*). I found this recipe on the Cook Fast, Eat Well blog that called for just one banana, and it was only a small batch of muffins, so that was perfect (I don't need to be eating a dozen-plus muffins on my own). 

Ingredients

•         1 large ripe banana
•         ¼ cup granulated sugar
•         2 ½ tablespoons butter, melted
•         1 large egg
•         ½ cup all-purpose flour
•         ½ teaspoon baking powder
•         ¼ teaspoon salt

Instructions

1.   Heat Oven. Adjust oven rack to the middle position. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line four muffin cups with paper liners or grease generously with nonstick cooking spray.

2.   Make Batter. Mash banana in a medium bowl with a fork. Add sugar. Stir to combine. Add melted butter and egg. Stir until smooth. Add flour and baking powder. Stir until a batter forms.

3.   Bake. Scoop batter into the prepared muffin pan, about ⅔ full. Bake until golden brown, about 20 minutes.

4.   Cool. Remove pan from the oven. Allow muffins to cool in the pan for about 5 minutes and then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely

This recipe is not the greatest. I thought it was weird that I had to read more than one sentence to learn how hot to heat the oven. And while the ingredients list salt, no where in the directions does it tell you when to put the salt into the batter. I'm an experienced baker, so I caught this, but a newbie would wonder, "Wait, why did I measure out this salt if I'm not going to put it into the muffins?" Also, there was too much batter to fill four muffins tins 2/3 of the way full. I made mine completely full, because there wasn't enough batter to go around for a fifth muffin. And even though the recipe says to bake the muffins for 20 minutes, all ovens are different, and every recipe should include a step to test if the batter is fully cooked (i.e. stick a toothpick in the center and see if it comes out clean). 

While I can't say the recipe was written well, these blonde muffins

*If you do want to make banana bread, I've made it MANY times. Here are some recipes I've tried:

• Easy Banana Bread
• Dark Chocolate Chip Raspberry Banana Bread
• Chai-Spiced Banana Bread
• Banana Peanut Butter Bread (Peanut Butter Banana Bread?)
• Strawberry-Banana Bread
• Buttermilk Banana Nut Bread (scroll down to the bottom)

Recipe: Double-Decker Peanut Butter Brownies

A brownie blob

I wanted to explore different dessert options for Passover, which starts this coming weekend. We've all had coconut macaroons and candy fruit slices; they're fun and nostalgic, but we've been there, done that. I found many flourless recipes that claimed to be kosher for Passover; most were chocolate, since chocolate already tastes good without rising agents!

I found this recipe on Epicurious. Now, many people of an Ashkenazi background might say that peanut butter is not kosher for Passover. But Jews of Sephardic descent may say that legumes are kosher for Pesach. Since I love peanut butter, I'm going to go with the latter take on this. 

INGREDIENTS

1. For the Nut Butter Layer
   • 2 large eggs
   • 1 cup (packed) light brown sugar
   • 1/2 tsp. kosher salt
   • 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
   • 3/4 cup natural unsweetened creamy peanut butter or almond butter
2. For the Cocoa Layer
   • 2 large eggs
   • 1 cup granulated sugar
   • 1/4 cup (packed) light brown sugar
   • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
   • 3/4 tsp. kosher salt
   • 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter or virgin coconut oil, melted
   • 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
   • 3 Tbsp. cornstarch
   • 1/2 cup chocolate chips, chopped or whole nuts, coconut flakes, crushed pretzels, or potato chips (optional)

PREPARATION

1. Make the Nut Butter Layer
   1. -Preheat oven to 350°F. Line an 8x8" baking dish with 2 overlapping pieces of parchment paper, leaving at least a 2" overhang on 2 sides.

   2. 

      I don't know why two sheets of parchment paper are needed. But it took up a lot of space, which meant my brownies were thicker, which meant they needed to be baked longer. AND they are not square...

   3. -Whisk eggs, brown sugar, salt, and vanilla in a medium bowl until well combined. Using a rubber spatula, stir in peanut butter until a smooth, thick batter forms. Scrape into prepared baking dish and spread in an even layer.
2. Make the Cocoa Layer and Assemble
   1. -Using an electric mixer or a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment on medium-high speed, beat eggs, granulated sugar, and brown sugar in a large bowl until mixture is light, smooth, and doubled in volume, 3–4 minutes. With mixer running on low speed, slowly beat in butter, then add vanilla and salt and beat to combine. Add cocoa powder and cornstarch. Beat on low speed, scraping down sides of bowl as needed, until incorporated. Increase speed to medium-high and beat until mixture is thick and holds its shape, about 30 seconds. Pour over nut butter layer and smooth top.
   2. -Add your choice of toppings or leave top smooth—they’re all good options.
   3. -Bake brownie until top is puffed, glossy, and starting to crack, and the center is just set (it shouldn’t jiggle when shaken, but the chocolate layer will still be very gooey), 25–30 minutes. Let cool.
   4. -Remove brownie from pan using parchment overhang, then cut into 16 squares.

I liked how specific and organized this recipe; very much appreciated! I only made a few changes. I had Skippy creamy peanut butter at home, and that is sweetened. So I used only 3/4 cup brown sugar in the peanut butter mixture (I also only had dark brown sugar, so that's what I used.). I chose not to add any toppings, since this was my first time making this recipe. I wanted to try the brownies just as they are without any add-ons!

I had to bake mine for 34 minutes, and even then the middle was very liquidy. I was afraid to bake it any longer, because the edges looked perfect, and I didn't want them to burn. 

That was a mistake:

What a mess...

The brownies were NOT done at all in the middle; they completely fell apart as I was trying to slice them. I was able to salvage a few edge pieces for me and my roommate, but the rest will just have to be the base of an ice cream sundae... At least I can say they do taste delicious! Just impossible to eat without some sort of utensil.

I think I would like to try this recipe again, but I would use sprayed aluminum foil instead of parchment paper. I think I would be able to spread the batter out more evenly (and thinly), and perhaps then 30 minutes would have been sufficient. Dayenu!

PS: Want to read about my other baking fails? These Unicorn Cake Mix Cookies were a disaster...

Recipe: Cheesy Bowtie Pasta Bake

My mom was out of town last week (She flew to Florida. Don't even get me started...), and while she was away I made sure to cook a lot for my dad. Before she left, my mom had bought two boxes of bowtie pasta, so I thought I'd make dinner using one of them. I found this recipe on the Lil' Luna blog, and it seemed straight forward enough. I haven't made a pasta casserole in years: I rarely eat pasta, since there's really no nutritional value in noodles. But I used to make casseroles all the time when I got my first real job out of college; I'd bake a casserole on Sunday night and pack it every day for lunch for the week. So this was kind of like a throwback Thursday recipe. 

Ingredients

• 16 oz bowtie pasta
• 14.5 oz tomatoes, diced
• 1/4 cup butter
• 1/4 cup flour
• 1 tsp garlic salt
• 1/4 tsp pepper
• 1 1/2 cups milk
• 1 1/2 cups mozzarella cheese, shredded
• 1 1/2 cups Three cheese blend
• 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
• 1/2 cup parsley fresh, chopped
• shaved parmesan for topping, optional

Directions

• Cook pasta as instructed on package.
• While pasta is cooking, drain tomatoes and reserve ¼ cup juice. Set aside.
• Preheat oven to 375°F.
• In a large pot, melt butter on medium meat. Add flour, salt and pepper and whisk until smooth. Add milk and reserved tomato juice. Bring to a boil. Cook until sauce thickens.
• Remove sauce from heat and add drained pasta, tomatoes and cheeses. Mix well and pour into a greased 9x13 dish.
• Bake for 30 minutes and garnish with fresh parsley and Parmesan. 

I mostly stuck to the recipe. I didn't quite drain the tomatoes, because honestly there wasn't much liquid to come off of them in the first place. And I didn't have garlic salt, so I just used regular salt, and I skipped the parsley and parmesan. I did add spinach to the sauce to get some sort of veggie in there. All in all, the recipe takes about 50-60 minutes to make, which was perfect since my dad was working late. It finished just as he was walking through the door. And now he had leftovers to eat all week 😊

Recipe: No-Bake Peanut Butter Truffles

Mine...don't look like this. Image found here.

I realized that in my parents' fridge, there must have been six partly-used tubs of icing. It makes sense: when you bake a cake or make cupcakes, you never use all of the icing in those Pillsbury containers (or if you do, your icing-to-cake ratio is way off). I was looking for different recipes that used icing, and I found this recipe on the Marsha's Baking Addiction blog. I like peanut butter, I like chocolate: I had to try these. 

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 1 cup smooth peanut butter
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1/8 tsp. salt
• 3 cups icing/powdered sugar
• 16 oz. dark chocolate, coarsely chopped
• 3/4 cup milk chocolate, coarsely chopped

Directions

1. Using a mixer, beat the butter on medium speed until creamy. Add peanut butter, vanilla, and salt, and beat until smooth and combined.
2. Add the icing sugar and beat on low until combined. The mixture will be crumbly, but you should be able to roll into balls.
3. Roll the dough mixture into 1-inch balls and place on a baking tray lined with parchment paper or a silicone mat. You should have about 40-45 balls. Refrigerate until firm - about 1 hour. 
4. Add the dark chocolate to a microwave-safe bowl and heat in 30 second intervals, stirring after each one, until melted and smooth. Leave to cool for 5 minutes.
5. Repeat with the milk chocolate. 
6. Dip each peanut butter ball into the melted dark chocolate and place back onto the baking tray. Drizzle with the milk chocolate. Allow to set in the fridge before serving. 

Soo... I have no idea why this recipe came up when I Googled "recipes that use leftover icing." The only place icing is mentioned is what she refers to as "icing sugar," which is more commonly know as powdered or confectioners' sugar. BUT I didn't get that until I was part-way through the recipe. I thought, "Oh, I need three cups of icing. So that's about one-and-a-half tubs." I added half a tub, about one cup, of Pillsbury's Funfetti Bold Purple Vanilla Flavored Frosting, before realizing what she really meant by "icing." At least I caught myself before putting in three cups of frosting! Instead I added 2.5 cups of powdered sugar to salvage what I had already mixed together. I think that worked out okay, and maybe even better, because the mixture was not too crumbly!

Clearly I have a varied understanding of what "one inch balls" look like.

I DID use leftover icing as the chocolate dip on the truffles. I microwaved the containers until the frosting was liquid-y, and then I used a kabob stick and dipped the truffles into the melted chocolate frosting. 

I made poopy buttholes. Yum.

At first they didn't look great (as you can see in the above photo), but then I took a spoon and covered the naked bits with the rest of the chocolate icing.

Video found here.

In the end, they tasted just okay. The flavor seemed to be a little off; it could have been the additional purple icing (too much icing or the fact that the icing was kind of old). And because I didn't use plain chocolate to cover the balls, the truffles didn't have a nice, clean, smooth outside that would harden in the fridge. The icing on the outside remains soft, making these treats a little messy to eat. So, not the worst thing I've ever done (I think that honor goes to my unicorn cake mix cookies), but I probably won't be making these again. 

Strawberry-Enhanced Brownies

 

It's in two halves because my dad wanted some!

I wasn't sure what to call these, since I kind of made up the recipe. A friend of mine wanted me to a bring a dessert over, but I didn't have a lot of time. So I figured I'd make box brownies, but with a twist.

Image found here

I used the Betty Crocker "Supreme Chocolate Chunk" brownie mix. All you do is mix it with some water, oil, and an egg, and voilà! But I wanted to make them a little more special. I used Pillsbury's chocolate fudge icing on top, but I took it one step further...

Another friend of mine gave me this strawberry almond vanilla extra for Christmas. I had never heard of such a thing! She got it from the Spice Suite in Washington, D.C. I hadn't tried it yet, so I thought I'd put it in these brownies. I added one teaspoon; I know extracts can be really flavorful, so I figured a little would go a long way. And of course to give a clue about the strawberry flavor, I sliced some strawberries and put those on top. They make pretty decoration, too!

At first the strawberry flavor is strong, but as I was eating the brownie, the chocolate took over to the point that the strawberry was just a hint. So if you like a strawberry-chocolate combo, you would love these brownies!

Recipe: Easy Banana Bread

It sunk a little in the middle. Hmpf.

I was left to my own devices this morning while my dad went skiing with a friend, so I thought I'd bake them a sweet treat they could enjoy after their time on the slopes. I found this recipe on AllRecipes.com. 

Ingredients

• 3 ripe bananas, mashed
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 egg
• 1/4 cup melted butter
• 1.5 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp salt

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 325° F. Grease a 9x5-inch loaf pan.
2. Combine bananas, sugar, egg, and butter together in a bowl. Mix flour and baking soda together in a separate bowl; stir in the banana mixture until batter is just mixed. Stir salt into batter. Pour batter into prepared loaf pan.
3. Bake in preheated oven until a toothpick inserted in the center of the bread comes out clean, about 1 hour. 

My end piece had lots of chocolate chips in it!

As usual, I didn't follow the recipe exactly. I only used two bananas; I added the salt into the dry mixture (maybe that's why the bread tasted a little salty?); I put in a 1/2 cup of chocolate chips because...who doesn't like chocolate? I also thought the last step of this recipe was very silly. Of course you're putting the batter into a preheated oven; do most people own two ovens, and even if they did, why would they put the batter in the one that wasn't preheated? And the fact that it says, "about one hour" as opposed to "55-60" minutes: recipes should be more precise! BUT, then again, does it matter if I'm not going to listen to them anyway?

I have made many different banana bread recipes. Here are a few others:

Dark Chocolate Chip Raspberry Banana Bread

Chai-Spiced Banana Bread

Banana Peanut Butter Bread

Strawberry Banana Bread