Friday, May 12, 2017

Movie Review: Mothers and Daughters [SPOILERS]

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I had a Netflix movie night at home, and thought I'd watch Mothers and Daughters in honor of upcoming Mother's Day. I have a great relationship with my mom, so watching this movie of dysfunctional women was disappointing to say the least. Why couldn't the characters have healthy, happy relationships with their moms? I realize not everyone is as lucky as I am to have a mom who's like a best friend, but does that mean a movie TITLED mothers and daughters has to focus on bad relationships between the two?

Here's are the characters and their relationships:

Selma Blair: She's a single photographer who accidentally gets knocked up (She only ever used condoms. Has she never heard that you should use a back-up method of birth control?! Idiot.). The father is her boyfriend, but he broke up with her to go back to his OTHER baby mama before she had the chance to tell him she was pregnant. She has no relationship with her mom; her mother has Alzheimer's and Blair is too chicken-s**t to visit her mom or try to take care of her. And then she ends up keeping the baby even though she has a crazy work schedule and can barely take care of herself, let alone anyone else.

Elizabeth Daily: She's a very minor character, but she plays the post-rehab mother of a famous rock star (Luke Mitchell); he tries to rape a random girl on his tour bus, and he tells her he wants to go to rehab, too. Clearly she didn't raise him right.

Christina Ricci: While you have to wait half-way through the movie to learn why she isn't speaking to her sister (Courtney Cox), you find out that Cox is actually Ricci's mother, not her sister. She got knocked up when she was in high school, and her mom refused to let her raise the baby as her own. You also find out that Ricci's "brother-in-law" is actually her dad (Paul Adelstein), so he was in on this secret for ~30 years, too. Again, a story of a woman getting pregnant accidentally because she's a moron. Not that Ricci is the one to blame here; she seems rather normal, just with a f***ed up family.

Mira Sorvino: SHOCKER! Another story of a young woman who had an unplanned pregnancy. When she was in the rebellious phase of life, she went on tour with her rocker boyfriend, did drugs, probably drank too much, and alludes to the fact that she participated in orgy-like activities, hence why she doesn't know the identity of the baby's father. Slut. She gave the baby away for adoption (probably the first good choice of her entire life), but does have the opportunity to meet her grown child (Alexandra Daniels), who happens to have had a wonderful life raised as the daughter of a big fashion designer (Sharon Stone).

Eva Amurri Martino: She deserted her parents to run off with the love of her life, only to realize he's not a grown man. Her husband (Paul Wesley) has no clue how to budget (he spends hundreds of dollars on gourmet food products like truffle oil), and he has big dreams to start his own baking business, but has no no capital to start it (nor a background in the culinary arts). She hasn't spoken to her mother (Susan Sarandon) in years, but finally calls her for...you guessed it: money. But even while on the phone with her mom, she gets upset if her mom is judging her, and keeps insisting that she's not asking for money, but for an investment. BS. Her mom is right to judge her. And then at the end of the movie you find out she's pregnant, too. Yeah...with a husband with no stable income. Brilliant.

In the entire movie, I think Susan Sarandon and Sharon Stone are the only characters who have their s**t together and made good life choices (who can fault them for loving their daughters too much?). At least the film portrayed the best actresses as the best women.

One out of five stars. The dysfunction between these women is only second to the characters of August: Osage County. Don't bother watching either of these films, especially this Sunday.

P.S. If you want to watch a great mother-daughter movie, I recommend The Joy Luck Club. Any other recommendations?

P.P.S. If you take anything from this blog post, let it be this: UNPLANNED PREGNANCY IS 100% PREVENTABLE. Don't be stupid by having sex and then saying, "Oopsies! I'm pregnant" because you didn't use multiple forms of reliable protection. Protect yourself, or don't have sex. End of story!

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