Thursday, September 12, 2013

It's hard being a 9...

Yes, I mean a 9 out of 10 (I'm conceited, but I'm not going to say I'm perfect). Being a 9 in the DC dating scene, and trying to find another 9 (I'd even settle for a strong 8!) is nearly impossible. People have told me since middle school that I "intimidate men" because I'm beautiful AND smart, and I know it. But I'm not going to change who I am just so a man will stick around for more than one or two dates. He's either going to like me for who I am, or find someone else.

1. I will not dumb myself down. I refuse to stare at you with Bambi eyes, twirl my hair around my finger, and repeat the word "like" in between every sentence. I will not deny that I went to an Ivy League school and lie to you saying I went to community college so you feel better about your own education. I will not limit my topics of discussion to make-up, clothes, weddings, and babies because that's what women are "supposed" to be interested in.

2. I will not gain weight. I'm not going to apologize that my slender figure and flat stomach may make you self conscious about your beer belly. I'm not sorry for the fact that I'm comfortable with my body but you have to have the lights off once you undress. I love my body, and I keep it in shape for me, not you.

3. I will not pretend that I hate my life. I will not make up a sob story about a bad childhood or complain about my job or make self-deprecating comments so that you think I have a low self-esteem and therefore don't realize my own self-worth. I'm a very happy person: I come from a loving family, I happened to find the perfect job at the age of 23, and I love who I am.I am a confident woman.

I guess having all three of these mantras in my life keep me from getting a man. If I were only happy and beautiful but were as dumb as a rock, men could put me down and I just wouldn't get their sarcastic comments. If I were only smart and happy, but fat and ugly, I could easily find another fat and ugly person (they're EVERYWHERE!). If I were only smart and beautiful but hated myself, men could date me because I wouldn't realize how much better I could do.

Yes, this is a "woe is me" blog post about the cursed life I lead as a pretty, intelligent, strong woman. Damn it all.

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