I'm sorry if you're getting bored of my blog posts on quotes, but if I'm not feeling particularly inspired by something to write about it (an event I just went to, my new favorite food, etc.), I find a quote that will get the job done.This quote is about confidence, and seeing the name of my blog, I think this is quite appropriate for me to write about.
"Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you
already had the confidence you desire to have." -Brian Tracy
I completely agree with this statement. It has definitely taken me years to reach the point of confidence that I am at now. Sometimes I think that if I hadn't been "the smart girl" in the beginning, I'd have no self-confidence at all. It started with brains, then I started getting pretty at the end of 8th grade, then in high school I really didn't care, in college I was hot/sexy, and now I'm a combination of it all, PLUS a great job and living in a cool city.
So it takes time, and it takes work. I was never the "cool" girl growing up, and when I think of myself today, "cool" is not an adjective I use to describe myself. Inside, I will always be that nerdy goody-goody who plays by the rules. But on the outside, I've definitely transformed myself. I think the easiest way to gain self-confidence is by changing your outward appearance. Now, sadly to say, this probably means conforming to society's idea of "beauty." You may think that making a statement with your piercings and Goth look are going to give you confidence because you're "sticking it to the Man," but you're really just digging yourself deeper into people judging you, and NOT in a good way. So, clothes and make-up can easily help (I swear, when I put on lipstick, blush, and a little mascara, I look 10 times better). Of course if you have a low self-esteem due to your weight, then exercise and dieting is in order (nothing extreme!). Once I had my braces off I felt better, and then when I got to college and started working out I felt really good, and now that I look the best I ever have, my self-confidence is through the roof. It feels good knowing that when you know you look good (like those days when you're wearing a great dress, sky-high heels, and make-up), you know that people are watching you walk down the street, even if you don't make eye contact with them. So, looks are the #1 way to feel better about yourself. Yes, it's a bit vain, but we live in a superficial society, so there you go. But really, when you look good, you feel good, period.
Then there's feeling like you have purpose. This could mean a million things, from having a meaningful job to being a good friend to raising children. If you are doing something that you like to do, and that makes you feel good, then you're on the right track. If you hate your job, or you've alienated all the people around you, and you feel lost, it's very difficult to have confidence. The summer after I graduated from college, I had no job, I was living at home, was heartbroken, and had no idea what I was doing with my life. My self-confidence was at an all-time low. I REALLY felt like a loser. So if that's how you feel, you need to make a change. A BIG one. For me, it was moving to New York City. For you, it could be taking a vacation to an exotic island, or switching careers into something you've secretly always wanted. If you're not happy, you can't be confident. The two go hand-in-hand.
While you are making these changes, both physically and lifestyle-wise, you're in a transition phase, and it might feel a little uncomfortable. Don't feel like you're being fake because you're trying to change who you are. You're not changing; you're transforming. I'd give you the caterpillar-butterfly metaphor but you all already know it. During this time, you may feel uneasy because you're doing something new and different, but if you act like you know exactly who you are, you will start to feel that way naturally. When I first started wearing make-up, I wore sparkly pink lipstick. Looking back on it now, it was not a good look, but back then, it made me feel pretty, and when I put it on, I felt better. You can do things as simply as walking taller with a longer stride, or smiling more; those easy moves will automatically make you feel better, even if that's not usually how you walk or act. If you have a new job, act like you know exactly what you're doing; you may have doubts, but if you let on that you're not sure of yourself, no one else will be. If you don't believe in yourself, love yourself, then how can anyone else? Confidence breeds confidence. If you have confidence in yourself, others will feel that for you, too.